Writing Rights and Wrongs

A friend who helps older folks organize their thoughts told me that in order for people my age (ahem) to remember a date or appointment, they must "make a memory".  What she meant is that you need to actually write down what you want to remember.  Those of you who live and die by lists and appointment books, feel vindicated!  Your choice to schedule will help you keep your life in order as you grow older.  Those of us who are "sure we'll remember" names, dates, and serial numbers might want to start writing stuff down.  The odds are that we won't remember, especially as we age.

Writing something down is really important.  I've had life coaches who encouraged me to write down lists of what was happening in my life.  One insisted that I write down all the bad stuff I was thinking first thing in the morning.  She said it was a way to get rid of the negativity and start the day fresh.  Another said not to focus on the bad stuff, but write down all the good things you can think of about people and situations in your life including your dreams and goals.

It felt terrible to write down the bad stuff, and sometimes I was so stuck in negativity that I couldn't think of any good stuff to write.  It was a problem.  Then I found this little guy lying in a parking lot.

This cheerful green pup--green being the fourth chakra color of healing--is an eraser.  He gave me an idea that solved my problem, and here it is: I write down the all bad stuff in pencil just to get it out of my system. Then I read what I've written.  Sentence by sentence, I erase the bad stuff and write down what I want to see instead over it in ink! 

This little technique works great!  I'm able to work through the negativity, and by acknowledging and accepting it, see what I'm wanting instead a lot more clearly.  Plus, when I then write down the opposite aspects of the negative thought, I begin to feel a whole lot better: more hopeful, more powerful, and more in control of my emotional landscape. In a subtle way, I think this technique is helping me to change my habitual, mildly pesimistic approach to life by bringing awareness to my thought processes and how they effect my energy.

Somehow, just by doing this little technique first thing in the morning, I'm noticing that I'm feeling generally happier and a lot more optomistic. I may not be making memories, but I sincerely believe I'm making a more joyful life.

Love, Kristine

Life Outside the pocket

After graduating from college, where he shone as an actor, our boy is making his way in the big world performing in fringe theater and auditioning for traditional gigs that actually pay him a wage. Student loans (DAMN our system of higher education!) and medical expenses are eating up his day job wages, and taking time off work to go to auditions make his take-home pay barely subsistent. It's starving artist time.

Yesterday he had his 2nd call back for several parts in the local Shakespeare Companies’ two traveling shows. His high hopes dimmed a bit when he saw the crowded waiting room. They dimmed even more when he was asked in to try for only three of the five roles offered. Now he has to wait a few more days to see if they chose him, and he's concerned that they might not.

This same day he received a call from the hospital where he had emergency surgery late last year. The insurance paid for less than half of his bill leaving him holding the bag for a sizable fee (DAMN our system of health care!). Now his love of acting was not the only motivating factor in snagging a role. He really needed this job. Talking to him later, I felt his frustration and anxiety and wanted so desperately to lend him a hand; yet there was nothing I could do. He was going to have to weather these disappointments and rise to these challenges on his own.

I recalled this little fellow I found on the sidewalk last week.  Tossed on the path he was lost and all alone in the world. I know he’s just a doll, but he looked so fragile and helpless lying there. I put him right in my pocket where he was warm and safe. Later, going through my pockets before I did my washing, I found him again. He had spent a very safe week, but he hadn’t done what a doll is supposed to do--enrich a child’s imaginary world.

I often wish to keep my children safe from harm, to hold them in my pocket where nothing will ever hurt them. Yet nothing hurts a human being more than not being allowed to live fully, or being too afraid to live the life they’re designed to live. Every life includes the ups and downs of gain and losses, and big dreams have big downsides. However, the journey is worth it. It’s what we’re here for.

The catcher of the Giants, after they won the World Series, was asked about the stress he must have been feeling during the games. He said that it was definitely a stressful situation, but it was the WORLD SERIES. He could be home avoiding the stress, or he could be playing his heart out doing what he loved on the national stage. Where else would he rather be? To him, that was a no brainer.

If you have a choice, and most of us do, choose living a life you love. It might take courage, it might be challenging and hard as opposed to the comparative safety and security of life in a pocket; but the rewards! Oh, the rewards of a life well-lived are worth it. Play your heart out, do what you love, and regret nothing; because living your own authentic life enriches and inspires all of us.  Besides, what else would you rather do?

Love, Kristine

P.S. I'm giving this little toy to the kids up the street. Time for him to get back in action!