Yesterday he had his 2nd call back for several parts in the local Shakespeare Companies’ two traveling shows. His high hopes dimmed a bit when he saw the crowded waiting room. They dimmed even more when he was asked in to try for only three of the five roles offered. Now he has to wait a few more days to see if they chose him, and he's concerned that they might not.
This same day he received a call from the hospital where he had emergency surgery late last year. The insurance paid for less than half of his bill leaving him holding the bag for a sizable fee (DAMN our system of health care!). Now his love of acting was not the only motivating factor in snagging a role. He really needed this job. Talking to him later, I felt his frustration and anxiety and wanted so desperately to lend him a hand; yet there was nothing I could do. He was going to have to weather these disappointments and rise to these challenges on his own.
I recalled this little fellow I found on the sidewalk last week. Tossed on the path he was lost and all alone in the world. I know he’s just a doll, but he looked so fragile and helpless lying there. I put him right in my pocket where he was warm and safe. Later, going through my pockets before I did my washing, I found him again. He had spent a very safe week, but he hadn’t done what a doll is supposed to do--enrich a child’s imaginary world.
I often wish to keep my children safe from harm, to hold them in my pocket where nothing will ever hurt them. Yet nothing hurts a human being more than not being allowed to live fully, or being too afraid to live the life they’re designed to live. Every life includes the ups and downs of gain and losses, and big dreams have big downsides. However, the journey is worth it. It’s what we’re here for.
The catcher of the Giants, after they won the World Series, was asked about the stress he must have been feeling during the games. He said that it was definitely a stressful situation, but it was the WORLD SERIES. He could be home avoiding the stress, or he could be playing his heart out doing what he loved on the national stage. Where else would he rather be? To him, that was a no brainer.
If you have a choice, and most of us do, choose living a life you love. It might take courage, it might be challenging and hard as opposed to the comparative safety and security of life in a pocket; but the rewards! Oh, the rewards of a life well-lived are worth it. Play your heart out, do what you love, and regret nothing; because living your own authentic life enriches and inspires all of us. Besides, what else would you rather do?
Love, Kristine
P.S. I'm giving this little toy to the kids up the street. Time for him to get back in action!
