Baby Steps Toward Abundance

When I woke up this morning I went through my usual ritual: Coffee, newspaper, crossword, journal, pull amulet, and pull an angel card for the daily message from the universe.  For the first time, both the amulet and angel card I pulled were about:

I was struck by the coincidence, but the duties of the day took my mind off of it.  The duties of the day placed my mind on something entirely different:  my business. It just wasn't as fulfilling as it used to be.
I wondered what I could do to create more ease, abundance, fulfillment, and prosperity in my life. 
Since the kids were adults, and my own work was feeling the impact of the economy, I needed a way to open myself up to a life that would be as satisfying as raising my kids had been or as exciting as beginning my graphic art business.  Been there, done that, now I wanted something new to focus on.
I pondered what that might be as my dog and I trudged up the hill to our favorite walking trail.  I happened to glance in the middle of the street and spotted this little lump of cloth.  Curious, I went towards it and here is what it was:

A very dirty baby's sock.  With hearts on it.  What in the world could this mean? 

In a flash, I got it.  I've been collecting found objects with the intention of creating art pieces with them.  I've found some pretty amazing and inspiring things, and I still haven't moved forward in this work.  This little sock was telling me to begin doing the thing I love to do; Make stuff.  Start small, but start.  Prioritize doing what I love and follow my heart. The very dirt on the sock itself indicated to me that by doing this, I would ground myself more fully in my creative nature. 

I started to think about all the things I was going to make.  I got idea after idea as I continued on my walk, but, as usual, doubt set in.  I worried that I was too old to start making the objects I was dreaming about, that I didn't have time, that they'd take time away from what was more important: making money not things, and that my time to be an artist was past.  Then I saw THIS:

A tiny buckle from a wristwatch.

It told me to detach from any notion of time, that the way to connect to myself was by being in the moment, by doing what I enjoyed moment to moment, and prioritizing doing what I love to do, just as I prioritized the activities of my children when they were small. 

It's my turn to reconnect to myself and my dreams.  That's all I need or want to do right now.  More importantly, it's time to get back to the pureness of my creative spirit: what I felt as a child when I made something, painted something, sewed something; not thinking about anything except the joy of creating, having no idea or ideal of  "being an Artist", but simply doing what I did because I wholly and fully enjoyed it.  That's truly heaven on earth!

Love, Kristine

Marching On

Time does it, and so do I. Sometimes slogging on is closer to the feeling I have walking my sometimes muddy life path.

I've been finding this time very confusing. For some reason, I can't seem to get my priorities straight. I make choices, and then question them. Self doubt abounds, and I can't seem to find where I put my compus or even what it looks like.

My true north: feeling free. Easy enough. How to do it? How to feel free when there's so much pressure to do what you SHOULD do and not what feels the best. Time to clear those boulders from my path.

Joseph Campbell said when you feel lost you should close your eyes and think about the time when you felt the happiest. I have lots of those times, but they seem to involve other people: dancing, watching my boy play soccer or act, talking with any of my kids, great discussions with my friend. What I'm looking for now is those times when I felt happiest by myself.

I think I can say that making something, anything, where I lose myself in the act of creation--those are the times when I feel happiest. Time to do that. Time to make something beautiful and thus find the beauty in myself.

Time to head north.