I was exercising in my light aroebics class today and began to get a bit out of breath. Ever since I was little and running with a pack of children, getting out of breath has an element of panic for me. Why?
Well, because breathing hard showed that I was one of the weak ones in the herd, that I couldn't keep up with the others. A lion would single me out and eat me. Or, like I heard the Innuit people did long ago to their old folk who were too old to be of any use, I'd be left on an ice flow and become a polar bear's supper.
I wondered, conversely, if the desire to be "better than" was the flip side of this attavistic fear. The "alpha" ones who jump the highest and have the brightest plummage are those that get the good mates and perpetuate their genes. The omegas get nada. It's about survival, stupid. Survival of the fittest.
We still seem to, consciously or unconsciously, view ourselves in these terms: Alpha person or lion meat. We win at poker: alpha person. Our boss criticizes us: lion meat. Lived in this way, our life becomes a life-or-death struggle emotionally, even though it is far from that, for most of us, in reality.
Yet it seems in our culture we want to stand out from the crown (be alpha) and at the same time remain part of the herd (beta to omega). Our safety seems to depend on our ability to conform. Our emotional well-being seems to depend on our being ourselves. It's a dilemma.
So, here is my thought for today: There is no Lion. There is only me. In the absense of the lion, how do I want to live my life? Well, without fear of course, and in alignment with who I really am. That makes the most sense.
I CAN relax.
All is well.
There is no lion.
Finding Method in the Madness:
