Time does it, and so do I. Sometimes slogging on is closer to the feeling I have walking my sometimes muddy life path.
I've been finding this time very confusing. For some reason, I can't seem to get my priorities straight. I make choices, and then question them. Self doubt abounds, and I can't seem to find where I put my compus or even what it looks like.
My true north: feeling free. Easy enough. How to do it? How to feel free when there's so much pressure to do what you SHOULD do and not what feels the best. Time to clear those boulders from my path.
Joseph Campbell said when you feel lost you should close your eyes and think about the time when you felt the happiest. I have lots of those times, but they seem to involve other people: dancing, watching my boy play soccer or act, talking with any of my kids, great discussions with my friend. What I'm looking for now is those times when I felt happiest by myself.
I think I can say that making something, anything, where I lose myself in the act of creation--those are the times when I feel happiest. Time to do that. Time to make something beautiful and thus find the beauty in myself.
Time to head north.
