How sticky my emotions can be. Sometimes one jolt to my ego takes me all day to recover from. I'm very stubborn that way.
On the plus side, something good happening can keep me walking on air. When I feel my feet start to touch the ground just remembering a lovely event can get me floating again.
But both these moods are created externally. They both require words of blame or praise from another person. How I would love it if I were strong enough to create my own mood from within and live in that without regard to what someone else thinks or does.
I guess that's the ultimate goal for me for this year. It's why I'm writing this blog, really, to clarify what I'm thinking, why I'm thinking it, and if what I'm thinking serves me or not. Depending on other people to cheer me up or noticing that they bring me down does not serve me. How do I get over this?
Letting go is a good start. I've learned that other people's opinions are really a reflection of their own perspective in life and have no relation, really, to who I am. Good or bad, letting go of the effect someone's opinion has on my day is a very good plan.
When I was younger, I tried my best to get along with everyone. Like a chamelion, I changed my opinions, way of speaking, ideas, and sense of self in order to blend in with whatever group I was with. What a messy way to be, especially when diverse groups would get together. Oh, the headaches I would get.
I no longer do that. I have a strong appreciation for who I am and what I do, but I still let others get to me if I'm not feeling my best. I think just noticing the problem is a good start to solving it. Also, accepting that I'm not at my best, and therefore vulnerable, is a way towards healing.
I'm human. I have good days and bad, sick days and well. All sorts of unexpected events can come into my life and change me for good or ill. What I want to feel is happy. That's my aim.
I'm going to relax, be where I am, and let go of anything that distracts me from hitting my target emotion.
Ahhhhh!
Finding Method in the Madness:
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Translating Daily-ness Into Happiness
This morning I dropped my daughter off at the BART station. She was heading into the city for her first day of the Spring semester at Acadamy Art. I went on to my Tai Chi class in Berkeley, found the perfect parking spot, and turned to the back seat to locate my purse. What I found there was my daughter's art supplies.
Oh Oh.
Only one thing to do. I headed for the freeway to San Francisco. It was jam-packed at the toll bridge. Even with a fast pass it took me 30 minutes to get through it. While I was waiting, I connected with my daughter (I love cell phones) and arranged a spot to meet her and called my husband for advice on how to get to the meeting place.
Then I was off! Crossing the bridge, I felt the tension in my body. Why was I so anxious? True, driving to and in the city can be a nightmare, but it could also be fun. Kelsey might be a little late for her class, but at least she'd get there with what she needed to participate.
I was already, in my unconscous mind, rehearsing having a bad experience. I recognized that that was what I was doing by feeling the rapid beating of my heart and seeing my white knuckles gripping the black steering wheel.
I decided to let what might happen go and focus on what was happening.
I was on an adventure and a mission of mercy. I was slipping out of the ordinary groove of my Tuesday morning and taking an unexpected trip to the city instead. I was helping my daughter out of an uncomfortable spot and felt really grateful that I had the flexibility to do that. The day was pleasent, the other drivers seemed to know what they were doing, I took a few wrong turns, righted myself, and showed up on the corner of Howard and Montgomery almost by accident and quicker than I expected.
All was well. My girl was a bit late for class, but at least she had her materials. I headed back across the bridge feeling much better.
Mission accomplished.
On the way home I heard a quote from Chekov: "A crisis is easy to weather. It's the daily grind that wears you down."
I guess so. This minor crisis did wear on me, though, but it also made me realize how hard it is for me to relax when I go off the beaten path of my regular life.
There is some comfort in following your schedule instead of your heart, but there can be a stagnancy to life if one is too vested in doing so.
I guess what I want is for it to be all good: both the doing of my usual routine and the handling of something unexpected that takes me out of it. Both add up to my life. Why not enjoy them and trust that, even if it feels like you're off the path, there's no way you can be off YOUR path.
This is my life journey. I'm going to walk it with joy. It's all there is.
Oh Oh.
Only one thing to do. I headed for the freeway to San Francisco. It was jam-packed at the toll bridge. Even with a fast pass it took me 30 minutes to get through it. While I was waiting, I connected with my daughter (I love cell phones) and arranged a spot to meet her and called my husband for advice on how to get to the meeting place.
Then I was off! Crossing the bridge, I felt the tension in my body. Why was I so anxious? True, driving to and in the city can be a nightmare, but it could also be fun. Kelsey might be a little late for her class, but at least she'd get there with what she needed to participate.
I was already, in my unconscous mind, rehearsing having a bad experience. I recognized that that was what I was doing by feeling the rapid beating of my heart and seeing my white knuckles gripping the black steering wheel.
I decided to let what might happen go and focus on what was happening.
I was on an adventure and a mission of mercy. I was slipping out of the ordinary groove of my Tuesday morning and taking an unexpected trip to the city instead. I was helping my daughter out of an uncomfortable spot and felt really grateful that I had the flexibility to do that. The day was pleasent, the other drivers seemed to know what they were doing, I took a few wrong turns, righted myself, and showed up on the corner of Howard and Montgomery almost by accident and quicker than I expected.
All was well. My girl was a bit late for class, but at least she had her materials. I headed back across the bridge feeling much better.
Mission accomplished.
On the way home I heard a quote from Chekov: "A crisis is easy to weather. It's the daily grind that wears you down."
I guess so. This minor crisis did wear on me, though, but it also made me realize how hard it is for me to relax when I go off the beaten path of my regular life.
There is some comfort in following your schedule instead of your heart, but there can be a stagnancy to life if one is too vested in doing so.
I guess what I want is for it to be all good: both the doing of my usual routine and the handling of something unexpected that takes me out of it. Both add up to my life. Why not enjoy them and trust that, even if it feels like you're off the path, there's no way you can be off YOUR path.
This is my life journey. I'm going to walk it with joy. It's all there is.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Coal For Your Soul
I love the story of the head monk of an ashram who was asked to conduct a Buddist wedding for the son of a rich and powerful city leader. The guests were, of course, equally rich and equally powerful people.
When the monk finished the ceremony he immediately returned to the ashram. He gathered his disciples around him and told them he was not fit to be their teacher. They were astounded, and asked him why. He said,"because when I was around those rich and powerful people, I had sweaty palms. Until I learn that all people are truly one, I am not fit to be your teacher." And with that, he left.
I think, too, of today's quote about the spider. This smallest of insects can be seen in the most exhalted places. The spider is there, doing its job and not even thinking about its environment. Be it a palace or a pig sty, the spider's only focus is its work.
How nice to be so involved with the work for its own sake, to not think about its effect on others. Questions about whether or not a viewer will like the spider's web never enters its consciousness. The spider does not have sweaty palms. No, the important thing to the spider is whether or not the web will do for what it must do in order for the spider to live: provide food
My work as an artist must be done with these questions in mind: Do I love what I'm doing? Does the work make me happy?
Questions like: will others like/buy/treasure my work?--these kill creative impulses and stifle true innovation.
Only do what makes you happy. Then the work will feel authentic and you will feel more authentic, more you, in the doing of it. When the feeling goes, stop. If the work is worth it, you'll feel re-inspired the next time you approach it. If not, play with another idea until the feeling's right.
Work with a good head of spiritual steam and you'll love what you do whether you're working in a palace or a pig sty. Will it provide food? Perhaps externally, but more importantly, your soul will eat like a king.
When the monk finished the ceremony he immediately returned to the ashram. He gathered his disciples around him and told them he was not fit to be their teacher. They were astounded, and asked him why. He said,"because when I was around those rich and powerful people, I had sweaty palms. Until I learn that all people are truly one, I am not fit to be your teacher." And with that, he left.
I think, too, of today's quote about the spider. This smallest of insects can be seen in the most exhalted places. The spider is there, doing its job and not even thinking about its environment. Be it a palace or a pig sty, the spider's only focus is its work.
How nice to be so involved with the work for its own sake, to not think about its effect on others. Questions about whether or not a viewer will like the spider's web never enters its consciousness. The spider does not have sweaty palms. No, the important thing to the spider is whether or not the web will do for what it must do in order for the spider to live: provide food
My work as an artist must be done with these questions in mind: Do I love what I'm doing? Does the work make me happy?
Questions like: will others like/buy/treasure my work?--these kill creative impulses and stifle true innovation.
Only do what makes you happy. Then the work will feel authentic and you will feel more authentic, more you, in the doing of it. When the feeling goes, stop. If the work is worth it, you'll feel re-inspired the next time you approach it. If not, play with another idea until the feeling's right.
Work with a good head of spiritual steam and you'll love what you do whether you're working in a palace or a pig sty. Will it provide food? Perhaps externally, but more importantly, your soul will eat like a king.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
The Shoulds V.S. the Want-tos
The other night at 1:00 in the morning, I couldn't get to sleep. I was immursed in fear and anxiety, the "shoulds" at war with the "want-tos".
The shoulds tell me what I need to do, what everyone does, the common wisdom we've all grown up with. I've heard it called "Mass Consciousness" and it's a strong pull to conform. It's the formula for success: go to school, get good grades, be popular; get into a good college, get good grades, be popular; get a great job, get lots of money, be popular.
The dark side of Mass Consciousness is repression of self, subjegation of creative desires, and motivation based on external approval.
The alternative? A place on the park bench with a bottle of cheap wine.
The "want-tos" tell me what I'm interested in, what I'd love to do, what would make life really juicy for me. I'm encouraged to think for myself and not worry about the opinions of others or what the economy looks like, both personally and politically. I'll get what I want if I do what I want. The dark side? What if it doesn't work and I end up on a park bench with a cheap bottle of wine.
The promise if it works? Heaven on earth
Then I went for a nice clarifying walk with my friend Rosemary. She said to me, "Focus on what you enjoy. Life's too short to live it any other way."
By goddess, she's right. Enjoy your life. Live with flexibility and passion. Learn to trust what happens and respond to what's right in front of you. This moment is all you have, it's where your power lies. Live in it with focus and integrity.
Heaven on earth begins and ends with that.
The shoulds tell me what I need to do, what everyone does, the common wisdom we've all grown up with. I've heard it called "Mass Consciousness" and it's a strong pull to conform. It's the formula for success: go to school, get good grades, be popular; get into a good college, get good grades, be popular; get a great job, get lots of money, be popular.
The dark side of Mass Consciousness is repression of self, subjegation of creative desires, and motivation based on external approval.
The alternative? A place on the park bench with a bottle of cheap wine.
The "want-tos" tell me what I'm interested in, what I'd love to do, what would make life really juicy for me. I'm encouraged to think for myself and not worry about the opinions of others or what the economy looks like, both personally and politically. I'll get what I want if I do what I want. The dark side? What if it doesn't work and I end up on a park bench with a cheap bottle of wine.
The promise if it works? Heaven on earth
Then I went for a nice clarifying walk with my friend Rosemary. She said to me, "Focus on what you enjoy. Life's too short to live it any other way."
By goddess, she's right. Enjoy your life. Live with flexibility and passion. Learn to trust what happens and respond to what's right in front of you. This moment is all you have, it's where your power lies. Live in it with focus and integrity.
Heaven on earth begins and ends with that.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
When the Lion Comes
Yesterday my sister told me about the recent deaths of two young people who were close friends of her son. She's dealing with her own grief, the pain of her boy and the impossible-to-imagine agony of their parents.
Death comes and we feel sad when we think of the person who is gone. We will miss them, and, depending on our connection with them, they will leave a hole in our lives. Still, when an old person dies, it seems the right and proper end to an active and full life.
When a young person dies it seems wrong, somehow, because, in a certain sense, it takes away our hopes and dreams for the future. Gone are the longed-for grandchildren, the excitement of viewing another's careers, love affairs, and home-making, through the close and loving lens of family. The seasonal celebrations, the phone calls to "see how you are", the visits with long conversations about triumphs and defeats; all those are gone.
We don't feel sad for the person who died. They've gone beyond sadness, pain, all the comforts and discomforts of life. We feel sad for ourselves. And deeply lonely. How to we heal? How do we become happy again?
We learn how much of our happiness depended upon the very presence of another, and very precious, being; and how much of it depended upon our vision of the future. Our salvation, and the way to heal, is to focus as much and as deeply as we can on the present moment, even when it's painful to do so.
Acceptance of our feelings is key. Allow the sadness and know that the food still needs to be cooked, people still need to be tended to, jobs still need to be done. Accept and do, focus on each task and find the small joys in each moment.
Your life will go on. Pay attention, and let your new future emerge from within the seeds of this closely observed present, and when you think of your loved one, think of the times you were happiest together. Forget any regret or judgement. You were together once and you loved each and still do.
Remember the love. Hold it close to you. It's all there is. It's all there ever was. It's still here for you. It will always be here for you.
Remember love.
Death comes and we feel sad when we think of the person who is gone. We will miss them, and, depending on our connection with them, they will leave a hole in our lives. Still, when an old person dies, it seems the right and proper end to an active and full life.
When a young person dies it seems wrong, somehow, because, in a certain sense, it takes away our hopes and dreams for the future. Gone are the longed-for grandchildren, the excitement of viewing another's careers, love affairs, and home-making, through the close and loving lens of family. The seasonal celebrations, the phone calls to "see how you are", the visits with long conversations about triumphs and defeats; all those are gone.
We don't feel sad for the person who died. They've gone beyond sadness, pain, all the comforts and discomforts of life. We feel sad for ourselves. And deeply lonely. How to we heal? How do we become happy again?
We learn how much of our happiness depended upon the very presence of another, and very precious, being; and how much of it depended upon our vision of the future. Our salvation, and the way to heal, is to focus as much and as deeply as we can on the present moment, even when it's painful to do so.
Acceptance of our feelings is key. Allow the sadness and know that the food still needs to be cooked, people still need to be tended to, jobs still need to be done. Accept and do, focus on each task and find the small joys in each moment.
Your life will go on. Pay attention, and let your new future emerge from within the seeds of this closely observed present, and when you think of your loved one, think of the times you were happiest together. Forget any regret or judgement. You were together once and you loved each and still do.
Remember the love. Hold it close to you. It's all there is. It's all there ever was. It's still here for you. It will always be here for you.
Remember love.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Lions and Tigers and Freedom, Oh My
Yesterday I didn't write in my blog. Yesterday I went to the zoo with my daughter. We brought our sketchbooks. She's an art student and uses every opportunity to hone her craft, and I want to do a cartoon for my on-line cartoon log called Doggone (http://www.kyotedog.com/doggone.htm) involving Tatiana, the tiger
that was killed at the San Francisco Zoo.
The San Francisco zoo tiger area is still closed, so we headed for the Oakland zoo. It was a beautiful day, crisp and clear, but windy and cold as well. We went slowly around the park drinking in the atmosphere and studying each animal closely. It was so cold that we didn't get our sketchbooks out, even when the pride of lions preened themselves and each other and virtually glowed on the hillside of their enclosure. ("Enclosure" is so much nicer a word than "cage" don't you think?)
Besides, we were there to draw tigers. Except that there were no tigers. The Oakland tigers were either too cold to show themselves, or, well, who knows.
Maybe they escaped.
Anyway, the "no tigers" aspect of our visit was dissappointing, but it felt so good to roam aimlessly around the zoo, to give ourselves the time to enjoy each second and each animal, to move on when we wanted and stay when we wanted. We were both surprised when we came back to the main gate exit, to find that the zoo was closing for the day.
We escaped.
We escaped the habits and routines of being home or working. We gave ourselves permission to be free for a day, and I intend to give myself permission to be free, as much as I can, every day. Sure, there are things I have to do, but waiting to do them until I WANT to do them means I'll be more effective in the doing and happier with the results.
Escape into your life.
that was killed at the San Francisco Zoo.
The San Francisco zoo tiger area is still closed, so we headed for the Oakland zoo. It was a beautiful day, crisp and clear, but windy and cold as well. We went slowly around the park drinking in the atmosphere and studying each animal closely. It was so cold that we didn't get our sketchbooks out, even when the pride of lions preened themselves and each other and virtually glowed on the hillside of their enclosure. ("Enclosure" is so much nicer a word than "cage" don't you think?)
Besides, we were there to draw tigers. Except that there were no tigers. The Oakland tigers were either too cold to show themselves, or, well, who knows.
Maybe they escaped.
Anyway, the "no tigers" aspect of our visit was dissappointing, but it felt so good to roam aimlessly around the zoo, to give ourselves the time to enjoy each second and each animal, to move on when we wanted and stay when we wanted. We were both surprised when we came back to the main gate exit, to find that the zoo was closing for the day.
We escaped.
We escaped the habits and routines of being home or working. We gave ourselves permission to be free for a day, and I intend to give myself permission to be free, as much as I can, every day. Sure, there are things I have to do, but waiting to do them until I WANT to do them means I'll be more effective in the doing and happier with the results.
Escape into your life.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
There Is No Lion, Ma'am
I was exercising in my light aroebics class today and began to get a bit out of breath. Ever since I was little and running with a pack of children, getting out of breath has an element of panic for me. Why?
Well, because breathing hard showed that I was one of the weak ones in the herd, that I couldn't keep up with the others. A lion would single me out and eat me. Or, like I heard the Innuit people did long ago to their old folk who were too old to be of any use, I'd be left on an ice flow and become a polar bear's supper.
I wondered, conversely, if the desire to be "better than" was the flip side of this attavistic fear. The "alpha" ones who jump the highest and have the brightest plummage are those that get the good mates and perpetuate their genes. The omegas get nada. It's about survival, stupid. Survival of the fittest.
We still seem to, consciously or unconsciously, view ourselves in these terms: Alpha person or lion meat. We win at poker: alpha person. Our boss criticizes us: lion meat. Lived in this way, our life becomes a life-or-death struggle emotionally, even though it is far from that, for most of us, in reality.
Yet it seems in our culture we want to stand out from the crown (be alpha) and at the same time remain part of the herd (beta to omega). Our safety seems to depend on our ability to conform. Our emotional well-being seems to depend on our being ourselves. It's a dilemma.
So, here is my thought for today: There is no Lion. There is only me. In the absense of the lion, how do I want to live my life? Well, without fear of course, and in alignment with who I really am. That makes the most sense.
I CAN relax.
All is well.
There is no lion.
Well, because breathing hard showed that I was one of the weak ones in the herd, that I couldn't keep up with the others. A lion would single me out and eat me. Or, like I heard the Innuit people did long ago to their old folk who were too old to be of any use, I'd be left on an ice flow and become a polar bear's supper.
I wondered, conversely, if the desire to be "better than" was the flip side of this attavistic fear. The "alpha" ones who jump the highest and have the brightest plummage are those that get the good mates and perpetuate their genes. The omegas get nada. It's about survival, stupid. Survival of the fittest.
We still seem to, consciously or unconsciously, view ourselves in these terms: Alpha person or lion meat. We win at poker: alpha person. Our boss criticizes us: lion meat. Lived in this way, our life becomes a life-or-death struggle emotionally, even though it is far from that, for most of us, in reality.
Yet it seems in our culture we want to stand out from the crown (be alpha) and at the same time remain part of the herd (beta to omega). Our safety seems to depend on our ability to conform. Our emotional well-being seems to depend on our being ourselves. It's a dilemma.
So, here is my thought for today: There is no Lion. There is only me. In the absense of the lion, how do I want to live my life? Well, without fear of course, and in alignment with who I really am. That makes the most sense.
I CAN relax.
All is well.
There is no lion.
Monday, January 14, 2008
The Joy of Cooking
Some folks have asked me why I call my business Kyote Graphics. The simple answer is that I live in an area where there are a lot of coyotes. The name is a deliberate misspelling of "Coyote" using the letter "K", the first initial of my name. I tried spelling it Koyote, but it looks funny, and makes me think of "Toyota".
Here's a slightly more complicated explaination: Coyote is a trickster god in the Native American tradition. I name what I do in honor of this aspect of this animal. I want both the doing and the recieving of my work to embody the creative spirit of Coyote.
I think creativity is about seeing the world in a new way and the function of art is to share that insight with others, sometimes using the power of illusion to "trick" the eye, the ear, the soul into deeply and clearly observing the essence of this world.
I talked about music and how it alters my moods. It "tricks" me into a better place. Nothing has changed, but the drumbeat of my life shifts when I add a good song.
The visual arts "trick" me into feeling more alive and open to new ways of being. If a piece is really successful, it convinces me that the world is full of undreamed of possiblities.
A good movie, theater piece, or novel does the same thing; with the added dimension of allowing me to lose myself completely in another artist's vision.
Also, the making of art is a (mostly)joyful, heartfelt experience. When I'm in the groove, really creatively cooking, time has no meaning and all I want to do, all I can do, is make this new thing I've thought of that wants to pour out of me and onto the page. It's a fabulous feeling.
In short, good art transforms both the artist and the observer, and the best art moves me beyond the mundane business of living and into a more exhilerating and joyful way of being.
Here's a slightly more complicated explaination: Coyote is a trickster god in the Native American tradition. I name what I do in honor of this aspect of this animal. I want both the doing and the recieving of my work to embody the creative spirit of Coyote.
I think creativity is about seeing the world in a new way and the function of art is to share that insight with others, sometimes using the power of illusion to "trick" the eye, the ear, the soul into deeply and clearly observing the essence of this world.
I talked about music and how it alters my moods. It "tricks" me into a better place. Nothing has changed, but the drumbeat of my life shifts when I add a good song.
The visual arts "trick" me into feeling more alive and open to new ways of being. If a piece is really successful, it convinces me that the world is full of undreamed of possiblities.
A good movie, theater piece, or novel does the same thing; with the added dimension of allowing me to lose myself completely in another artist's vision.
Also, the making of art is a (mostly)joyful, heartfelt experience. When I'm in the groove, really creatively cooking, time has no meaning and all I want to do, all I can do, is make this new thing I've thought of that wants to pour out of me and onto the page. It's a fabulous feeling.
In short, good art transforms both the artist and the observer, and the best art moves me beyond the mundane business of living and into a more exhilerating and joyful way of being.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Your Power and How To Amp It Up
For the last couple of days, I wrote about plugging energy leaks; the negative feelings that come up when you're around people you'd rather not be around, or you're undermining your health and well-being by doing things that you know aren't good for you.
When you take care of yourself, both personally and interpersonally, you experience a level of comfort that helps you relax into your natural state of well-being. I think insisting on being comfortable is one of the most important, powerful, and under-rated, spiritual practices.
Think of the Princess and the Pea. Remember that story? The true princess was discovered when she was discerning enough to feel a tiny pea placed under a tower of soft and comfortable mattresses. The false princesses were not sensitive enough to feel the pea, or they were too greedy, to acknowledge that all was not well and minimized their pain.
The true princess felt her discomfort, small as it was, had the courage to address it, and thus won the heart of the prince. The marriage of prince and princess symbolize the coming together of body and soul, the unification of yourself with your spirit.
By acknowledging discomfort and not settling for it, the seekers of happiness honor their true wants, needs, and spiritual nature. They're taking their personal power seriously and they're in the business of creating heaven on earth.
If even little things like a dead plant that you know you need to remove from your garden, or a messy kitchen, or even a missing button from your favorite sweater, make you feel uncomfortable everytime you look at them, you're loosing energy.
Empower yourself enough to get those peas out from under your mattresses, and you'll be amazed at how much better you'll sleep at night, and how much brighter the days will be!
When you take care of yourself, both personally and interpersonally, you experience a level of comfort that helps you relax into your natural state of well-being. I think insisting on being comfortable is one of the most important, powerful, and under-rated, spiritual practices.
Think of the Princess and the Pea. Remember that story? The true princess was discovered when she was discerning enough to feel a tiny pea placed under a tower of soft and comfortable mattresses. The false princesses were not sensitive enough to feel the pea, or they were too greedy, to acknowledge that all was not well and minimized their pain.
The true princess felt her discomfort, small as it was, had the courage to address it, and thus won the heart of the prince. The marriage of prince and princess symbolize the coming together of body and soul, the unification of yourself with your spirit.
By acknowledging discomfort and not settling for it, the seekers of happiness honor their true wants, needs, and spiritual nature. They're taking their personal power seriously and they're in the business of creating heaven on earth.
If even little things like a dead plant that you know you need to remove from your garden, or a messy kitchen, or even a missing button from your favorite sweater, make you feel uncomfortable everytime you look at them, you're loosing energy.
Empower yourself enough to get those peas out from under your mattresses, and you'll be amazed at how much better you'll sleep at night, and how much brighter the days will be!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
More Energy Leaks: The Lies We Tell Ourselves
This blog is sort of about food and how it effects your energy, but really it's about how the truth can set you free.
As my Tai Chi teacher once told me, "Everything is energy; it's how you interpret it that creates the result. "
Food is Just Energy, but I have many patterns of thought around food that were creating physical results that were not pleasing to me. My clothes felt tight, my energy was like a pogo stick, and I had a hard time staying in the moment.
I'd justify my eating habits by saying "it's just energy. This chocolate sunday won't make me fat because I BELIEVE it won't. "
What a liar.
I didn't believe that for a second. I really believed that a chocolate sunday WOULD make me fat, and the way my clothes fit confirmed my beliefs. Those beliefs seemed set in concrete. I couldn't seem to change what I thought, so that meant I needed to actually change what I ate in order to create the results I wanted i.e.: clothes that fit, energy that was consistent, and balanced emotions.
A friend turned me on to the anti-inflammation diet. (Here's a link that talks about it more completely. http://www.angelhealingcenter.com/Anti-InflammatoryDiet.html) Oh my goddess, only fruits and vegetables for the first three weeks! No beloved butter, no yummy sandwiches, no juicy steaks, and no, absolutely no, hot fudge sundays.
So here I am, 10 days into to it and, I have to tell you, I feel great! With the receipes in the book, I feel full and satisfied with every meal and look forward to the next one. My energy is consistent, I'm emotionally more content, and my clothes are fitting better and better.
Best of all, I'm no longer lying to myself about the benefits of what I'm feeding myself. I'm in alignment with my belief system. What a relief! It takes so much energy to tell myself lies.
Perhaps one day I'll truly believe that everything is energy and whatever I put in my mouth will contribute to my health and well-being, but until that day comes, I'm going to stick with the system that I currently believe in and that truly makes me feel better.
This diet my not work for you. That's not the point. The point is, "to thine own self be true". Honor who you are and what you believe. There's a reason you feel as you do, maybe not a good one, but a reason just the same. Honor where you are now.
Paradoxically, it's the only way to change.
Your own belief systems structure how you live. If you're struggling in any aspect of your life, look and see what lies you're telling yourself. You'll FEEL them immediately. Lies always make you feel uneasy and ungrounded. Start telling yourself your truth and acting on that truth you've discovered, and you will feel better!
In fact, you'll start to feel like YOU.
As my Tai Chi teacher once told me, "Everything is energy; it's how you interpret it that creates the result. "
Food is Just Energy, but I have many patterns of thought around food that were creating physical results that were not pleasing to me. My clothes felt tight, my energy was like a pogo stick, and I had a hard time staying in the moment.
I'd justify my eating habits by saying "it's just energy. This chocolate sunday won't make me fat because I BELIEVE it won't. "
What a liar.
I didn't believe that for a second. I really believed that a chocolate sunday WOULD make me fat, and the way my clothes fit confirmed my beliefs. Those beliefs seemed set in concrete. I couldn't seem to change what I thought, so that meant I needed to actually change what I ate in order to create the results I wanted i.e.: clothes that fit, energy that was consistent, and balanced emotions.
A friend turned me on to the anti-inflammation diet. (Here's a link that talks about it more completely. http://www.angelhealingcenter.com/Anti-InflammatoryDiet.html) Oh my goddess, only fruits and vegetables for the first three weeks! No beloved butter, no yummy sandwiches, no juicy steaks, and no, absolutely no, hot fudge sundays.
So here I am, 10 days into to it and, I have to tell you, I feel great! With the receipes in the book, I feel full and satisfied with every meal and look forward to the next one. My energy is consistent, I'm emotionally more content, and my clothes are fitting better and better.
Best of all, I'm no longer lying to myself about the benefits of what I'm feeding myself. I'm in alignment with my belief system. What a relief! It takes so much energy to tell myself lies.
Perhaps one day I'll truly believe that everything is energy and whatever I put in my mouth will contribute to my health and well-being, but until that day comes, I'm going to stick with the system that I currently believe in and that truly makes me feel better.
This diet my not work for you. That's not the point. The point is, "to thine own self be true". Honor who you are and what you believe. There's a reason you feel as you do, maybe not a good one, but a reason just the same. Honor where you are now.
Paradoxically, it's the only way to change.
Your own belief systems structure how you live. If you're struggling in any aspect of your life, look and see what lies you're telling yourself. You'll FEEL them immediately. Lies always make you feel uneasy and ungrounded. Start telling yourself your truth and acting on that truth you've discovered, and you will feel better!
In fact, you'll start to feel like YOU.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Energy Drains and How to Plug Them
Have you ever been with a person that exhausts you? Figuring out who's to blame is really no help. For better or worse, if you've found someone that isn't a match to your energy, being with them can feel like you're sticking a pencil in a fan. What do you do?
If they're a chance aquaintance, the course of action is obvious. You say "Very nice to have met you." and off you go. If they're a business associate or client or a family member or lover, well, that takes a bit more thought.
Hanging on to client or a job that grates on you may seem like good business sense, a kind of tip of the hat to staying the course or toughing it out. After all, you're getting paid, right? What you may not consider is that you pay, too. Your energy takes a nose dive, your mood swings, and the next client that comes along doesn't get your best self but a drained and cranky version of you.
Your job is something you do most of your waking hours. Being miserable on the job is too high a price to pay for a little security. A happy life should be more than just something you dream about.
An energy vampire family member is a trickier problem, but moving to another state can be a great solution. Really, though, the best approach is to get very practical and realistic. If you have to see this person, ask yourself, "How often can I see them and stay sane and balanced; one day or one hour a week, or month, or year? Only on the holidays? Every two centuries?" Figure that out and stick to your decision until the energy between the two of you gets more harmonious.
Giving yourself the power to choose when and how long you want to be with this person may help your relationship improve, or it may just get better as you both age and mellow. It may never change, but at least you've defined your boundaries, and that's a powerful act. You'll feel better for it.
If you have a lover that makes you tired I just have to ask: what are you thinking?!
Bottom line: Honor yourself and your feelings. Don't judge yourself, don't judge the other person, don't ask yourself the reason why. It doesn't matter why. The only thing that matters is how YOU feel. Take yourself seriously. Trust yourself. It 's a sure-fire path to being happy.
If they're a chance aquaintance, the course of action is obvious. You say "Very nice to have met you." and off you go. If they're a business associate or client or a family member or lover, well, that takes a bit more thought.
Hanging on to client or a job that grates on you may seem like good business sense, a kind of tip of the hat to staying the course or toughing it out. After all, you're getting paid, right? What you may not consider is that you pay, too. Your energy takes a nose dive, your mood swings, and the next client that comes along doesn't get your best self but a drained and cranky version of you.
Your job is something you do most of your waking hours. Being miserable on the job is too high a price to pay for a little security. A happy life should be more than just something you dream about.
An energy vampire family member is a trickier problem, but moving to another state can be a great solution. Really, though, the best approach is to get very practical and realistic. If you have to see this person, ask yourself, "How often can I see them and stay sane and balanced; one day or one hour a week, or month, or year? Only on the holidays? Every two centuries?" Figure that out and stick to your decision until the energy between the two of you gets more harmonious.
Giving yourself the power to choose when and how long you want to be with this person may help your relationship improve, or it may just get better as you both age and mellow. It may never change, but at least you've defined your boundaries, and that's a powerful act. You'll feel better for it.
If you have a lover that makes you tired I just have to ask: what are you thinking?!
Bottom line: Honor yourself and your feelings. Don't judge yourself, don't judge the other person, don't ask yourself the reason why. It doesn't matter why. The only thing that matters is how YOU feel. Take yourself seriously. Trust yourself. It 's a sure-fire path to being happy.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Exercising the Happiness Muscle
Sometimes feeling good isn't so easy. It's a muscle that we're not used to working. Even though they say it takes more muscles to frown instead of smile, smiling seems harder. Gravity, at least, works with the frown, and it seems so much easier to feel down, to let ourselves use disappointment, discomfort, or any external circumstance as an excuse to feel bad.
And where does that get us? For me, I've discovered that indulging negative feelings just creates more negativity around me. Wake up tired and cranky and you're sure to stub your toe on the curb and have the guy at the checkout stand be surly to you. Wake up happy and the world is your oyster and nothing but good things seem to happen.
Therefore I've decided that I'm going to deliberately look for things to cheer me up. I woke up feeling blue, it's rainy and gloomy outside, my son hates his new, and quite necessary job, but I'm not going to let mere circumstance ruin my day. After all, what is my life but a series of days, hours, minutes, seconds. Why waste one on depression? Why not create as much pleasure as I can in the time I have?
So, glancing around, I find in the morning paper that China has cloned a green flourescent pig that has passed those weird genes down to her new batch of piglets. That is too weird! How can I take this life so seriously when there are green glowing pigs in China?
Ok, go for the burn, no pain no gain,
SMILE.
And where does that get us? For me, I've discovered that indulging negative feelings just creates more negativity around me. Wake up tired and cranky and you're sure to stub your toe on the curb and have the guy at the checkout stand be surly to you. Wake up happy and the world is your oyster and nothing but good things seem to happen.
Therefore I've decided that I'm going to deliberately look for things to cheer me up. I woke up feeling blue, it's rainy and gloomy outside, my son hates his new, and quite necessary job, but I'm not going to let mere circumstance ruin my day. After all, what is my life but a series of days, hours, minutes, seconds. Why waste one on depression? Why not create as much pleasure as I can in the time I have?
So, glancing around, I find in the morning paper that China has cloned a green flourescent pig that has passed those weird genes down to her new batch of piglets. That is too weird! How can I take this life so seriously when there are green glowing pigs in China?
Ok, go for the burn, no pain no gain,
SMILE.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Men Reading Fashion Magazines
This title, really, has only this to do with today's post: It's a line from a song, sounds like Rufus Wainright singing, and it's a great song. I'm listening to it right now.
Music, is what this post is about. As I type this, I'm streaming archived shows of Bonnie Simmons and Derk Richardson on KPFA. Here's the link: http://www.kpfa.org/archives/index.php?arch=21564.
These two play the best music. Old stuff, new stuff, and almost everything I like.
Music can change my mood like nothing can. A good song can make my day. Oh, here comes "California Dreaming", a live version. Perfect! My day is made by the Mama's and the Papa's.
Yesterday, I found myself smiling while doing crunches to Bob Marley in my light aerobics class. He made even that fun.
AHHH, Patty Smith singing Soul Kitchen by the Doors. So far, this experiment in happiness is going very, very well. All I need is a good soundtrack!
Music, is what this post is about. As I type this, I'm streaming archived shows of Bonnie Simmons and Derk Richardson on KPFA. Here's the link: http://www.kpfa.org/archives/index.php?arch=21564.
These two play the best music. Old stuff, new stuff, and almost everything I like.
Music can change my mood like nothing can. A good song can make my day. Oh, here comes "California Dreaming", a live version. Perfect! My day is made by the Mama's and the Papa's.
Yesterday, I found myself smiling while doing crunches to Bob Marley in my light aerobics class. He made even that fun.
AHHH, Patty Smith singing Soul Kitchen by the Doors. So far, this experiment in happiness is going very, very well. All I need is a good soundtrack!
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
A New Consciousness: Learning What I Like
I began this morning, this year, with the clear intention to just do what I want to do.
Figuring out what that is is a real adventure.
My first task on Tuesday and Thursday mornings is to wake up at 5:15 so I can make it to a Tai Chi class. I'm the assistant teacher. Do I want to wake up at 5:15? Well, no.
Let the tetter-totter reasoning begin!
I want to sleep/I'd miss Tai Chi;
I want to sleep/I really like my Tai Chi class;
I want to sleep/I'd miss the aerobics class that comes right after my Tai Chi that I also really like!
Ok, totaling all this nonsense up:
the not want to go reasons=1.
The want to go reasons=3.
I'm going.
So my decision is to make decisions like this all day long, all week long, as long as it takes so I can get really clear about what I really want to do, even if I have to do simple math in order to figure it out.
One thing I've noticed is that I'm really enjoying posting a blog. I can't wait to see what else I really enjoy today. I'm taking it one day, even one moment, at a time.
For you with clarity about what you like and don't like, this may seem like a really idiotic exercise. Well, I wish I were you. I've done so many things for the sake of duty, or approval, or because I felt I "should", that I completely lost track of the wonderful child-like feeling of waking up in the morning and anticipating a day of fun and adventure and knowing what to do to make it that way: a special game or friend or activity that makes one feel free, happy, and whole. I want to live that kind of life again!
Figuring out what that is is a real adventure.
My first task on Tuesday and Thursday mornings is to wake up at 5:15 so I can make it to a Tai Chi class. I'm the assistant teacher. Do I want to wake up at 5:15? Well, no.
Let the tetter-totter reasoning begin!
I want to sleep/I'd miss Tai Chi;
I want to sleep/I really like my Tai Chi class;
I want to sleep/I'd miss the aerobics class that comes right after my Tai Chi that I also really like!
Ok, totaling all this nonsense up:
the not want to go reasons=1.
The want to go reasons=3.
I'm going.
So my decision is to make decisions like this all day long, all week long, as long as it takes so I can get really clear about what I really want to do, even if I have to do simple math in order to figure it out.
One thing I've noticed is that I'm really enjoying posting a blog. I can't wait to see what else I really enjoy today. I'm taking it one day, even one moment, at a time.
For you with clarity about what you like and don't like, this may seem like a really idiotic exercise. Well, I wish I were you. I've done so many things for the sake of duty, or approval, or because I felt I "should", that I completely lost track of the wonderful child-like feeling of waking up in the morning and anticipating a day of fun and adventure and knowing what to do to make it that way: a special game or friend or activity that makes one feel free, happy, and whole. I want to live that kind of life again!
Monday, January 7, 2008
Explaining Myself
On my calendar I read that there is nothing I cannot be, do or have.
Here's the problem I run into: I really get and believe this concept, but clarity about what I want to be, do, or have can be elusive. And, then, there's the mixed results.
For example, I'd love to have my cartoons be "discovered". . . which is why I'm typing up this blog entry. "What if", I think to myself, "someone stumbles on this blog, someone with either money or connections or both, and says to themselves, "Ah, that's a worthy idea for a book! Let's promote her!" "
Then, perhaps, I get enough money to not have to do any other work for a year so I can devote myself to drawing and writing my cartoons so I can get a book published.
Great, right?
But here's the rub: now, I have to work for a year to devote myself to writing my cartoons in order to get a book published.
Anxiety just crept into the equation.
Now, about the new paradigm thing: What I've decided to do this year is just what I want to do, what I enjoy, as much as possible, as much as I can, for all of 2008! Sounds like fun, right? Big, scary, irresponsible fun! What will happen? Will I get my publisher without the anxiety? Maybe. I'm going to try it. Want to join me?
Oh, check out my cartoons at www.kyotedog.com/doggone.htm
Here's the problem I run into: I really get and believe this concept, but clarity about what I want to be, do, or have can be elusive. And, then, there's the mixed results.
For example, I'd love to have my cartoons be "discovered". . . which is why I'm typing up this blog entry. "What if", I think to myself, "someone stumbles on this blog, someone with either money or connections or both, and says to themselves, "Ah, that's a worthy idea for a book! Let's promote her!" "
Then, perhaps, I get enough money to not have to do any other work for a year so I can devote myself to drawing and writing my cartoons so I can get a book published.
Great, right?
But here's the rub: now, I have to work for a year to devote myself to writing my cartoons in order to get a book published.
Anxiety just crept into the equation.
Now, about the new paradigm thing: What I've decided to do this year is just what I want to do, what I enjoy, as much as possible, as much as I can, for all of 2008! Sounds like fun, right? Big, scary, irresponsible fun! What will happen? Will I get my publisher without the anxiety? Maybe. I'm going to try it. Want to join me?
Oh, check out my cartoons at www.kyotedog.com/doggone.htm
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