It's 9:00 and I'm going to write about the things I appreciate until 9:10. I'm told that if I can do this for 30 days, my life will change because I'll be altering my "set point" to a more optomistic point of view. I'm all for that. After all, at the beginning of this year I pledged to learn to live a happier life. So, time's a-wasting. Time for appreciating.
I'll start by appreciating this effort. I'm so glad that I'm on this path. Already it's made a difference. Each day feels fresher and I feel more alive. When I feel myself embarking on a dark path, I notice it and shift my thoughts. It really does change things.
The power to enjoy my life is in my hands, and I'm really learning that as I practice this way of being. It's great to understand that I'm not a victim to my moods, I'm the instigator. Once I realized that, I could make the changes in my patterns of thought that made me feel helpless and powerless to do anything about my unhappiness.
So that's great, and what I'm learning is how simple a satisfying life can be. Sure, happiness can come by achieving a long sought after goal, but the moments that make up each day are truly the life I'm living. How can I enrich each moment? I can appreciate all I have in it. The people I'm with, the place I'm at, the beauty that surrounds me, the love in my heart; I can notice all those things and feel at peace and at one with all that is.
I appreciate the people who provide me with the signposts that keep me on this path. My friend Marguarite said that she's decided that God is the muse of creativity, and harmony is the way that spirit is revealed. She's a singer, but in all things there is truth here. God is the creative spark in us all, and harmonizing with the moment is what helps that spark flame into being.
Aikido is called "The Way of Harmony", and now I understand what that means. Harmonizing with the moment means being in concert with what is, completely accepting what is and aknowledging my responsibility for what is.
Ekhart Tolle, a great teacher, talks about the power of the moment, and how being present to what is helps one feel at peace and alive. It's true. I've noticed that the more I notice everything involved with NOW, the less I worry about LATER. Later takes care of itself if I pay attention to now. I can plumb the depths of now and discover myself, what I enjoy, what is, and the seeds of what will be.
It's 9:10. I feel much better. How about you?
Finding Method in the Madness:
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Practicing what we've been preached
I had a really interesting realization about patterns of thought. Patterns of thought can be changed, all you have to do is be aware that you're about to dive into one, notice the repetitive thoughts that come up, and begin to shift your focus and see what's in front of you in a different way.
Usually, some one or some action will trigger a response in you. You'll think your response is real, when actually it's just a pattern of thought that you usually think in the presence of this person or action. You get your buttons pushed and a habitual response comes out. It's not real. It's just a thought you're used to thinking.
In the movie Dan in Real Life, one of the character's says, "love isn't an emotion, it's an ability". You can have the ability to love, and practice that ability, or not. You can also have the ability to be happy, and practice that ability. Or, you can continue to practice your patterns and stay stuck in the life you have.
Most of us just practice what we've been "preached", or taught. We've learned what the culture thinks of as an appropriate response to any given person or action, whether or not the response feels "right" or "true" or in alignment with who we really are.
We lose the ability to respond naturally and truly when we adhere to "the preaching". Let go of what you think. Feel your way towards natural responses and see what this opens up in you. How do you know when a response is natural? You feel completely whole. Remember feeling whole?
Whenever you feel fear or doubt, know that this is an unnatural response. Practice a different feeling. Free yourself from your patterns. You have nothing to lose and a whole new world to gain.
Usually, some one or some action will trigger a response in you. You'll think your response is real, when actually it's just a pattern of thought that you usually think in the presence of this person or action. You get your buttons pushed and a habitual response comes out. It's not real. It's just a thought you're used to thinking.
In the movie Dan in Real Life, one of the character's says, "love isn't an emotion, it's an ability". You can have the ability to love, and practice that ability, or not. You can also have the ability to be happy, and practice that ability. Or, you can continue to practice your patterns and stay stuck in the life you have.
Most of us just practice what we've been "preached", or taught. We've learned what the culture thinks of as an appropriate response to any given person or action, whether or not the response feels "right" or "true" or in alignment with who we really are.
We lose the ability to respond naturally and truly when we adhere to "the preaching". Let go of what you think. Feel your way towards natural responses and see what this opens up in you. How do you know when a response is natural? You feel completely whole. Remember feeling whole?
Whenever you feel fear or doubt, know that this is an unnatural response. Practice a different feeling. Free yourself from your patterns. You have nothing to lose and a whole new world to gain.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Marching On
Time does it, and so do I. Sometimes slogging on is closer to the feeling I have walking my sometimes muddy life path.
I've been finding this time very confusing. For some reason, I can't seem to get my priorities straight. I make choices, and then question them. Self doubt abounds, and I can't seem to find where I put my compus or even what it looks like.
My true north: feeling free. Easy enough. How to do it? How to feel free when there's so much pressure to do what you SHOULD do and not what feels the best. Time to clear those boulders from my path.
Joseph Campbell said when you feel lost you should close your eyes and think about the time when you felt the happiest. I have lots of those times, but they seem to involve other people: dancing, watching my boy play soccer or act, talking with any of my kids, great discussions with my friend. What I'm looking for now is those times when I felt happiest by myself.
I think I can say that making something, anything, where I lose myself in the act of creation--those are the times when I feel happiest. Time to do that. Time to make something beautiful and thus find the beauty in myself.
Time to head north.
I've been finding this time very confusing. For some reason, I can't seem to get my priorities straight. I make choices, and then question them. Self doubt abounds, and I can't seem to find where I put my compus or even what it looks like.
My true north: feeling free. Easy enough. How to do it? How to feel free when there's so much pressure to do what you SHOULD do and not what feels the best. Time to clear those boulders from my path.
Joseph Campbell said when you feel lost you should close your eyes and think about the time when you felt the happiest. I have lots of those times, but they seem to involve other people: dancing, watching my boy play soccer or act, talking with any of my kids, great discussions with my friend. What I'm looking for now is those times when I felt happiest by myself.
I think I can say that making something, anything, where I lose myself in the act of creation--those are the times when I feel happiest. Time to do that. Time to make something beautiful and thus find the beauty in myself.
Time to head north.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Feeling Overwhelmed
Sometimes I feel like I never have enough time to do everything I want to do, or even everything I think I need to do.
A friend of mine often says "There is all time in God's time." My Tai Chi teacher says "You're where you need to be when you need to be there."
There's so much wisdom in those words. Why don't I listen to them? I think because I believe in the illusion of wasted time. It's not a belief I want to cling to, since it indicates that I don't trust life.
Trust life. My network Chiropractor said that. Another bit of wisdom. And why not trust life? My life has been, on the whole, wonderful. It can go on being wonderful, I'm sure.
But what about the suffering of others? Am I worried about the misery in the world? I'm sorry for it, but my being miserable myself won't help other's unhappiness.
Astrologer Carolyn Casey says "This is no time for Realism. It's vision that we need."
What we can all do for the world is envision the world we want to live in. The world will change, if we start to focus on what we want for it, not by focusing on how we think it is. I'm sure we all want roughly the same things. Clean air, clear water, abundant life forms, happy children, interesting work, wonderful friends, and time to relax and enjoy it all.
We can never, really, see the world as it is anyway. We can see only what the media chooses to show us filtered through our own narrow perspective. Let us open our imaginations to what could be, and let the how of it take care of itself. Let go of struggle and resistence and open to the power of the creative spirit.
It you trust yourself, as the amazing creator you are, you will trust life.
A friend of mine often says "There is all time in God's time." My Tai Chi teacher says "You're where you need to be when you need to be there."
There's so much wisdom in those words. Why don't I listen to them? I think because I believe in the illusion of wasted time. It's not a belief I want to cling to, since it indicates that I don't trust life.
Trust life. My network Chiropractor said that. Another bit of wisdom. And why not trust life? My life has been, on the whole, wonderful. It can go on being wonderful, I'm sure.
But what about the suffering of others? Am I worried about the misery in the world? I'm sorry for it, but my being miserable myself won't help other's unhappiness.
Astrologer Carolyn Casey says "This is no time for Realism. It's vision that we need."
What we can all do for the world is envision the world we want to live in. The world will change, if we start to focus on what we want for it, not by focusing on how we think it is. I'm sure we all want roughly the same things. Clean air, clear water, abundant life forms, happy children, interesting work, wonderful friends, and time to relax and enjoy it all.
We can never, really, see the world as it is anyway. We can see only what the media chooses to show us filtered through our own narrow perspective. Let us open our imaginations to what could be, and let the how of it take care of itself. Let go of struggle and resistence and open to the power of the creative spirit.
It you trust yourself, as the amazing creator you are, you will trust life.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Big Happy
I'm back from Seattle. For those of you who don't know, I've got a son going to school there (Cornish College of Art) as a theater major. The purpose of my trip was to see him in his latest play.
Well, cutting to the chase, he was AWESOME!!! AMAZING!!! FABULOUS!!!
No, really, he was. I know I'm his mom, and all, but I swear, when he was onstage I completely forgot that we were related. His performance and the play itself put me right where I love to be when I see art: in a different world.
For me, that's what defines a great performance, a great piece of art, music, whatever. When I forget the world around me and have a true emotional response to a piece, I figure I've just stumbled across genius.
I think this is very hard to do, but worth the effort. I also believe that the best way for an artist to achieve this result is to forget about trying to achieve this result. Complete immersion in the work and having the work create an emotional response in you, the creator, is the best way to create that in your audience.
It's hard to forget the audience, but worth the effort. Work for yourself only, and only when you love the work. That's big. That's huge. That's happiness.
That's ART!
Well, cutting to the chase, he was AWESOME!!! AMAZING!!! FABULOUS!!!
No, really, he was. I know I'm his mom, and all, but I swear, when he was onstage I completely forgot that we were related. His performance and the play itself put me right where I love to be when I see art: in a different world.
For me, that's what defines a great performance, a great piece of art, music, whatever. When I forget the world around me and have a true emotional response to a piece, I figure I've just stumbled across genius.
I think this is very hard to do, but worth the effort. I also believe that the best way for an artist to achieve this result is to forget about trying to achieve this result. Complete immersion in the work and having the work create an emotional response in you, the creator, is the best way to create that in your audience.
It's hard to forget the audience, but worth the effort. Work for yourself only, and only when you love the work. That's big. That's huge. That's happiness.
That's ART!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
This Love Boat is Listing
Valentines day can be a challange. With a partner, without a partner, it doesn't matter.
I had very little sleep last night. I woke up tired and felt overwhelmed by what I had on my schedule today. I got a lovely card, necklace, earrings, and bracelet from my partner, but even that didn't help alter my mood. It's not that I wasn't grateful. I was very grateful. I was just too tired to act grateful. The only thing I wanted to be was asleep.
What to do?
My goal is happiness. Every moment I want to aim towards that goal. How can I achieve it? I was far from feeling happy, and there was a long day stretching ahead of me that I didn't want to just slog through.
I decided to forgo exercising. That wiped one thing off my list. Phew. Stay home and rest. I made that decision after I'd had my coffee, so I couldn't go back to sleep, but at least I had some space to ease into the rest of my day.
Next, I decided to decide, moment by moment, what to do and to carefully expend only the energy I had for each activity and stop when I had had enough.
I've had enough blogging.
See ya next time.
I had very little sleep last night. I woke up tired and felt overwhelmed by what I had on my schedule today. I got a lovely card, necklace, earrings, and bracelet from my partner, but even that didn't help alter my mood. It's not that I wasn't grateful. I was very grateful. I was just too tired to act grateful. The only thing I wanted to be was asleep.
What to do?
My goal is happiness. Every moment I want to aim towards that goal. How can I achieve it? I was far from feeling happy, and there was a long day stretching ahead of me that I didn't want to just slog through.
I decided to forgo exercising. That wiped one thing off my list. Phew. Stay home and rest. I made that decision after I'd had my coffee, so I couldn't go back to sleep, but at least I had some space to ease into the rest of my day.
Next, I decided to decide, moment by moment, what to do and to carefully expend only the energy I had for each activity and stop when I had had enough.
I've had enough blogging.
See ya next time.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Miss Guided, Miss Guidance
Well, I reread my last blog and decided that my whole problem is me.
I actually believed that there's a right way to be, a right way to do things.
I'm, well, wrong about that. Everyone has their own way of moving through the world. It's time for me to let go of ego and let everyone be the way they need to be. I can't possibly advise my son or you or anyone about how to live their lives. Only you know what's best for you. Your own time table, own mistakes, own beliefs, own tragedys, comedies, and feats of ordinary living are the building blocks of your life.
And yet, here I am writing this blog. It does imply that I'm trying to teach others. Well, for all I know, no one but me is reading this, but I'm really the only one that needs to read it. I'm trying to reach a goal, a way of feeling joyful and peaceful as much of the time as possible. Writing this blog refocuses me, and alerts me to where I might be missing the mark and what is in alignment with my goal.
I missed the mark last blog. I tried to solve my boy's problems. I didn't trust him to do it on my own, and I didn't trust life. Life, his life, will teach him all he needs to know, and I can trust him to learn and grow as he lives his life. He is the best judge of how to solve any problem he has.
I understand now that nothing and no one is beyond the reach of love. You don't have to earn love or change in order to get love. Love is in you and around you. It's your birthright. Even the worst human beings and the worst behavior possible is within love's scope. The only real way I can aid anyone in pain is to love them.
I think that was what O Sensei was teaching when he talked about Aikido. An attacker has lost his balance. See his point of view (tenkan) and send him on his way.
When we engage in right-wrong thinking, we are in opposition to all-encompassing love. There is no right way to be. There is just being. I'm going to focus on being in love.
I actually believed that there's a right way to be, a right way to do things.
I'm, well, wrong about that. Everyone has their own way of moving through the world. It's time for me to let go of ego and let everyone be the way they need to be. I can't possibly advise my son or you or anyone about how to live their lives. Only you know what's best for you. Your own time table, own mistakes, own beliefs, own tragedys, comedies, and feats of ordinary living are the building blocks of your life.
And yet, here I am writing this blog. It does imply that I'm trying to teach others. Well, for all I know, no one but me is reading this, but I'm really the only one that needs to read it. I'm trying to reach a goal, a way of feeling joyful and peaceful as much of the time as possible. Writing this blog refocuses me, and alerts me to where I might be missing the mark and what is in alignment with my goal.
I missed the mark last blog. I tried to solve my boy's problems. I didn't trust him to do it on my own, and I didn't trust life. Life, his life, will teach him all he needs to know, and I can trust him to learn and grow as he lives his life. He is the best judge of how to solve any problem he has.
I understand now that nothing and no one is beyond the reach of love. You don't have to earn love or change in order to get love. Love is in you and around you. It's your birthright. Even the worst human beings and the worst behavior possible is within love's scope. The only real way I can aid anyone in pain is to love them.
I think that was what O Sensei was teaching when he talked about Aikido. An attacker has lost his balance. See his point of view (tenkan) and send him on his way.
When we engage in right-wrong thinking, we are in opposition to all-encompassing love. There is no right way to be. There is just being. I'm going to focus on being in love.
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